I’m losing it. I was told caretakers experience a physical “crash” after their loved one passes, so I was expecting it. But this is ridiculous.

It actually started in July. I ended up in the emergency room with a leg so swollen I couldn’t get my pants or shoes on. Then a couple days after mom’s funeral and being in the rv, it came back with a vengeance.

Luckily since we we’re on vacation, I was able to mostly stay off it then, ice and elevate. But felt obligated to go back to work and attempted two days of “walking it off” only to have my leg get so painfully swollen and cramped, I begged to be put on the schedule at the first opening they had. Dr V. took one look with the ultrasound and told me to go home.

I got another doppler ultrasound, bloodwork, and two MRI’s that showed a huge pocket of blood pressing on my calf.

They drained off some fluid and blood, and released enough pressure I could finally put my foot down, (it continued to leak out for 2 more days) but I still cannot straighten my knee. It’s a ruptured bakers cyst caused by a torn meniscus and severe osteoarthritis.

I saw a orthopedic surgeon Dr R. who said surgery or a scope was appropriate and let’s get paperwork and prior authorization going. Then the next day I see Dr V, who tells me she discussed my case with the Ortho, Dr R. and surgery is unnecessary and I just need physical therapy. And come back to work?!

I walked into that appointment to discuss if PRP was an option during the scope, but never even got to ask.

I can’t even do dishes without having to sit down cause my knee is unable to straighten and I get Charly horses down to my toes after being on it. How am I supposed to do my job adequately? How is 4 months of dealing with this, and trying to “walk it off” and failing, not surgical?

My boys want me to go buy pumpkins to carve today, and the thought of just walking into a grocery store brings me to tears.

I’m not jumping on tramps, or playing tennis when these things happen. Just trying to live my life. What’s preventing it from happening again? I consider myself a fairly active person. I am flexible, I do yoga, I have an active life and job. I cant keep letting this knee keep me down. Now I’m feeling bursitis on my good hip from compensation, and new pains from trying to push through it like they suggested I do. I’m frustrated and disappointed

So sick of this 🤬

Published by KaGardn1

I'm trying to live the most meaningful and intentional life possible. Minimalist, Vegetarian, Fierce protector of a full night sleep, Mother, Wife, Daughter -caretaker, Sister, Friend, Nurse. Sharing day to day life with family and friends. A quest to minimize effects of Alzheimer's Disease. View all posts by KaGardn1