Religion
Ah touchy subject. I was around 12 or 13 when I started questioning my religion. Specifically, I had too many unanswered questions.
I grew up in a very devout LDS (aka Mormon) family. I did everything right. I was a president of my Beehives, Miamaids, Laurels classes. Graduated from Seminary at 17. Prayed and read my scriptures. Even got accepted to BYU…
My mom was Relief Society president, organist, choir leader, and any and everything she could get her hands into of the church nature. (HINDSIGHT HERE) My Dad was a Bishop (non-paid) for 6 years of my teenage life. We had multiple generations on both sides dating back to the pioneers. Pretty sure I’m descendent of one of Brigham Youngs’ multiple wives in our genealogy lineage.
We are taught to seek everything good, and pure and those feelings are the Holy Ghost. Bad feelings and confusion are of Satan.
I was blessed to grow up around many religious people. Not just LDS. And thank goodness, not in the echo chamber that is Utah Valley/Idaho. My best friend in Hawaii invited me to many church services of an evangelical nature. And I loved being there. I had many “Holy Ghost” moments under that roof. My closest cousin was also evangelical, and I had overheard grownup conversations between my mom and uncle about religious differences, that had me questioning things at a very young age. I remember asking many people “You’re telling me Mother Teresa won’t get into heaven unless she gets baptized as a Mormon??” 🤔🙄🤨
If all my ‘non-member’ friends and ‘non-member’ family feel the Holy Ghost and believe their religions, why am I being taught ours is the “only true church” and none of them are getting into the Celestial Kingdom?
Too many unanswered questions sat heavily on me. We are taught to believe our apostles and priesthood leaders above anything else. Historical accuracy be damned. We had a living prophet, who was a special witness of Christ (recently rescinded that they don’t ACTUALLY speak to Christ, not was I was taught), THEN WHY….. when I found out Joseph Smith married not one but two 14-year-olds among his 30-40 plus wives. Some of whom were already married and J.S. sent their husbands on a “mission” then in a SECRET Temple ceremony married their wife……. DID I get a feeling that it was straight from SATAN?
Being a woman, my job was to get married and be a mother first and foremost. Rely on my husband for all support, financially and religiously. But I still felt I had something else to contribute to society. And why do I need to rely on any man to get me into the “Celestial kingdom” And oh yeah, don’t get a wanna-be missionary too excited, because you’ll find yourself called into a church officials office, who asks inappropriate questions like how far you went and if you were wearing panties! 😠🤯 how is this normalized?
Moms final years, even when she couldn’t remember Clain’s name, would always remember she was officially her husband’s second wife, and doomed to eternal polygamy with that distinct title. It was something that weighed heavily on her until she was mute.
I watched my dad struggle during what should have been the most productive years of his life, uncomplaining, with a brand new business while juggling family and bishopric responsibilities. Tasked with being a guidance counselor and meditator, despite not having any type of mental health background. With a materialistic mom who suffered great generational trauma (SEE HINDSIGHT). Sexually abused by her father who carried the priesthood to his grave. It’s a culture built around secrecy, patriarchy, hierarchy, and masonic rituals. One I cannot subscribe to anymore.
“The church” is superficially friendly, because its members have developed an extremely inward, overtly self-righteous and judgemental culture that sets itself apart from the outside world and implicitly judges people on their status and adherence to certain “norms”. It puts up barriers to participation based on worthiness and does not embrace sinners with understanding and compassion like Christ did, but punishes it with stigma and shame.
Not to mention the billions of dollars found in various shell companies that the church had no intention of claiming for public knowledge or tax purposes. All on the backs of non-paid volunteers who spend a life’s savings to pay their way into the temple (to perform masonic like rituals), therefore securing their spot in heaven. 🙄
Well, that’s enough for the moment. I tend to get worked up. I’m not a confrontational person. So I would never tell anybody what they believe is garbage. Everyone has coping mechanisms. Religion is who a person is to the core. I’m not one to challenge that. But knowing what I know now. I can’t unknow it. The genie is outta the bottle.
https://www.letterformywife.com/ is very educational and historical for anyone seeking deeper information. It’s written by an LDS church historian with every bit of information taken from all LDS available materials.
Love everyone regardless ❤ 💗 💓 be the good in the world. And remember, you don’t need religion to be an honest, good, charitable person.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 😄
Adventures in Mitchell 